“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.” – Al Capone
Generally speaking, I’m a nice guy. I like people, and I love interaction with people. As far as my coaching style is concerned, I’m fairly laid back, as long as the effort is there and the focus is up to par. However, when dealing with some high school kids, they get a tad comfortable with me, and that can lead to a bit of a blurred line between player and coach from their perception. It then becomes my job to remind them of the parameters of the relationship. This has happened a time or two since I’ve been coaching. I’m sure it will happen again. I want my guys to be loose and comfortable around me, but I also want them to understand that there is a mutual respect that has to be shown. My position requires me to be authoritative on occasion, obviously.
As a self-proclaimed nice guy, I’ve often had the misfortune of being walked on a time or two. Without question, I surely am excusing a bit of nice guy for a good amount of allowed treatment. I often bite my lip in situations because I know that some things just aren’t worth the fight.
Certainly, I should be better about asserting myself, but my general expectation is that people won’t be mean-spirited or manipulative. I’d rather keep it that way, as opposed to expecting everyone to suck.
With the nice guys (and gals, of course), we should never fall into the trap of mistaking “nice” for “weak”. We shouldn’t assume gentler folks are pushovers. We shouldn’t have ulterior motives with people who assume goodness in all. Rather, we should aspire to carry a similar mentality.
Wouldn’t things be much less complicated if we could expect good from others and actually receive it? Wouldn’t it be ideal to express your feelings and have them validated? Wouldn’t it be nice to know that, when dealing with people, there was no other shoe to drop, no ulterior motive, and no potential for manipulation?
If we’re going to have agendas, let’s make them clear. If we’re trying to advance, let’s take people with us instead of stepping on them. If we have problems, let’s confront them in a civil and productive manner.
All it costs is a little effort.
Have an awesome Tuesday,