“Every waking moment we talk to ourselves about the things we experience. Our self-talk, the thoughts we communicate to ourselves, in turn control the way we feel and act.” – John Lembo
I recently listened to a talk given by Joshua Medcalf, a performance psychologist***, at Pepperdine University from a year or so ago.
Allow me to walk you through an exercise that he performed with his audience.
Close your eyes and take a moment to think about the last giant mistake that you feel like you made. Once you have recalled that moment, think about the things that you said to yourself. Angry things? Hurtful things?
Now, with the same intensity and passion that you made those negative statements toward yourself, go say those things to your best friend.
Think that be pretty tough to do? Why?
We are usually afraid we will upset him/her, and don’t want to hurt his/her feelings.
Then, why is it so easy to say these damaging things to ourselves? We do this often. We tear ourselves apart and don’t bat an eye at it. We use what I learned are called “self-limiting statements.”
“The words that we use put pictures into our minds.” – Joshua Medcalf
Think about this. When we say that we cannot do it, our mind sees us not doing it. When we say we give up, our mind sees us walking away. When we say life is. Not fair, our life continues to show us unfair things.
Yet, we continue to do this all the time, day after day. I have heard it; I have read it; and, I have even done it.
Thoughts run through our mind constantly throughout our day. We talk to ourselves over and over again. These thoughts, these words to ourselves indicate our mood, our behavior, our actions.
One of the main reasons that we began this project was to encourage people and enlighten them that they are in control of how they feel. The world does not have to be so negative. But, we are constantly telling ourselves that it is, and as a result we continue to see it that way.
We wouldn’t talk to others the way we talk to ourselves. We wouldn’t even want to hang out with or be friends with ourselves most of the time.
I recently wrote down my “Daily Affirmations” and throughout the day, I read them to myself or listen to the recording I made of them. I especially do this first thing in the morning, and it inspires my thoughts and actions. I am. Now even able to notice a difference on days where I neglect to read these affirmations to myself.
I encourage you to try this for yourself. It may be through daily affirmations; it may be through becoming more conscious of what you are or are not saying. To yourself. However you wish to do it, I challenge you to change your narrative with yourself from one of insufficiency and negativity to one of positivity and affirmation.
Bring your best today!
***If you are interested in more work by Joshua Medcalf, follow him @joshuamedcalf and look up his videos on YouTube under Train2BeClutch. He also has keynote addresses available through a Google search and you can visit his website at http://www.traintobeclutch.com. It is all definitely worth your time.