“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” – Robert Brault
Has someone ever done something to you and not apologized? I know it has happens to me.
Some are bigger than others. Someone may bump into you in the grocery store and act like it was your fault. Some may do something infinitely more devastating and go about their life without a hint of an apology or remorse. Some may even constantly bring it up in conversation expecting you to apologize for those tragic events that have been plaguing them for their entire lives.
We have all seen it before, and maybe even participated. For whatever reason, we cannot let it go. There is this bitterness and anger that sets in that we cannot escape from and from which we will not let anyone else escape. The resentment flows out like an erupting volcano. Someone has wronged us, and we are going to continue to harp on it, complain about it, fight about it, etc. until we have received our rightful acknowledgement that it was not our fault. Or better yet, that it was HIS fault, HER fault, ITS fault.
Well, let me be the first to suggest something to you: If there is an apology that you are waiting for and need so bad, go ahead and be the one to give it to yourself (no matter who is at fault).
Apologize to yourself for allowing yourself to be held captive by these feelings of anger, bitterness, and resentment. Wash yourself clean of the constant stress and worry that comes with harboring these unnecessary grudges. Free yourself. Not a half-hearted or “I don’t really mean it” apology, but a genuine, sincere, and honest one.
When we allow these outside influences and events to impact the ways that we choose to live our lives, we are giving those events control of our lives. These feelings of hatred that we conjure up really can be damaging to our other relationships, our health, and most importantly, to ourselves. What is the good in hating or resenting someone for the rest of your life? How well does that serve you? What purpose does it serve?
I am not even suggesting that you blindly forgive the other person or event that is causing you so much pain (though I would posit that is also productive for your mental well-being). I am simply recommending that you apologize to yourself for holding onto this grudge, this tragedy, this unpleasant experience for so long. You may think it is easier to hang on, but letting go will be one of the most rewarding and freeing experiences that you can have.
I know it will be tough, but I believe in you. Gather up your courage and your strength. Apologize to yourself, apologize for yourself. Then, feel the weight of the world lifted from your shoulders.
Bring your best today!